“As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair. I wished she were mine, but she didn’t notice me like that. And I knew it. After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, and I handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why.
The phone rang. It was her on the other end. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said “thanks,” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why.
The day before prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick,” she said. He’s not going to go. Well, I didn’t have a date and in 7th grade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as “best friends,” so we did. Prom night after everything was over I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her. She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn’t think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said, “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why…
A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and she cried as I hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You’re my best friend, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why…
A Few Years Later
Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married, now. I watched her say, “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said, “You came!” She said, “thanks!” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why…
Years passed, and I looked down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my best friend.” At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he were mine. But he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love him, but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me…
I wish I did too…
i thought to myself, and I cried.“
Touching isn’t it? Express yourself. You may never know what life has for you. The essential thing in life is to express ourselves. ‘Express yourself. No one has time to wait and understand you. When you do a good work, put up your hand and take credit for yourself. Stand up and speak for yourself.’ is the first corporate lesson that was taught to me when I joined as a fresher. Since my childhood, I have faced many situations where expressing myself earlier would have escorted me from the problems that I faced at a later stage. Here are a glimpses of few creative ubiquitous problems which one may face.
- You could’ve consulted the doctor when eye-irritations started before prolonging it to a stage where you have to permanently wear glasses.
- You could’ve told your father to get a contact-lens rather than a pair of glasses. No point feeling bad about it now. Express!!
- You didn’t like the guy/girl. An immediate ‘no’ would have calmed down. Taking time, making the other person hopeful are just going to complicate the problems. Express!!
- When your boy-friend wanted to ride the bike in the rain. A ‘No’ should have solved the problem. No point repenting cold, cough, dry nose & sleepless nights. Express!!
- You are not comfortable with certain activities of your boyfriend/girlfriend. Don’t compromise. Talk & understand. Keeping things pending may explode one day. Express!!
- You are having a great time with your girl-friend. You both are enjoying. Need not hesitate to tell her the same. Expressing that would make her feel special. Express!!
- You had a busy day in office. You are tired. Pending work & House hold chores demand rest. He is in a romantic mood. A polite ‘no’ and a convincing conversation should suffice. Succumbing to him and having an awful day is meaningless. Express!!
- The dog is whining. You are busy. Ask your hubby or the kid to take it out. You speed up work so that neither of their[hubby or kid] morning routine is disturbed. Time runs out. The dog stops whining. Promptly attends the nature’s call. Blame it on yourself and clean the dirt. Express!!
- You have a treat planned with friends at 8.00PM. She wants to meet you. Either meet her and tell about the treat and leave or don’t meet but tell her. You meet her, be with her. The time turns wonderful. You fail to keep a track of time. Reach the treat at 9.00PM. Friend angry. Mood becomes bad. Express!!
- He plans a trekking. You have your periods. You may suffer. Explain him. You still trek. You suffer. Express!!
- She wants to attend a carnatic music concert. You want to have a silent evening. Tell her. Get a few carnatic music cds. Play carrom with her, talk and listen to music. Soothing isn’t it. Think, accept the whole idea. Sit in the concert, brain-drain. Fight on the way back home. Sleep with pain. Express!!
- and a lots more can be named
Open you throat. Voice yourself. Things change. Happy Life!